TFM 248

 Varkas prayed

Chapter 248

“Your father is quite foolish, isn’t he? Even after I treated him so badly… it seems he was still worried about me when he left.”

When he saw clear tears welling at the corners of her eyes, he hurriedly pressed his body against her side.

Her sorrow-filled eyes lowered toward him.

“One day, I’ll let you meet him too.”

At the pain that seemed to gouge through his chest, his body went rigid.

I’m here, Thalia.

I’m beside you right now.

He wanted to tell her that, but from the beast’s throat came only a thin whimper.

“Why? What is it, Khan? Are you hurt?”

Perhaps startled by his sudden unease, she lifted him into her arms and stroked his back.

At once, a sweet scent, enough to melt his brain, filled his nose.

His sense of smell, dozens of times sharper than when he had been human, sometimes pushed him into unbearable confusion.

What if all of this was nothing more than a vision he was seeing at the moment before his breath stopped?

Whenever that thought came to him, an unbearable terror swept over him.

“It’s all right, Khan. I’ll take good care of you.”

Holding his trembling body firmly in both arms, Thalia began walking back the way she had come.

The head maid, who had been waiting at a distance, approached with a puzzled look.

“Weak?”

“Of course his body would weaken after spending nearly ten days doing nothing but sleeping, without eating properly. Give him enough food and gradually increase his activity, and he will recover quickly, so please do not worry.”

Only after hearing the healer’s calm answer did Thalia’s expression soften.

Only then could she realize that Thalia was being oversensitive because she had lost her child.

The woman pulled him close to the nape of her neck and whispered apologetically,

“I’ll make sure to feed you better from now on.”

“Rather than that wolf, I am more worried about Your Grace’s health.”

The healer let out a small sigh, then knelt on one knee before her and held out his hand to Thalia.

“How is your condition today?”

“Much better.”

Thalia naturally placed her hand on the healer’s palm and answered halfheartedly.

“I still toss and turn at night because of my leg, but I’m clearly suffering far less from the severe pain than before. It seems the ointment you made is working.”

“Did you apply the medicine this morning as well?”

Thalia nodded.

The woman, who had been examining her condition with a thoughtful expression, took a small glass bottle from the bag tucked at her side.

“If the pain grows worse at night, please take this.”

Thalia looked at the transparent glass bottle with suspicion.

“What kind of medicine is it?”

“It is a newly prepared painkiller. Its effects should last longer than the one you were taking before.”

Thalia accepted the bottle, opened the lid, and sniffed at it. Then, perhaps finding nothing unusual, she closed it again.

“I’ll try taking it before bed.”

The healer rose with a satisfied expression.

Thalia set him back down on the floor and began walking along the garden again.

Using all four legs, he followed close behind her and lifted his head as high as he could.

Her golden hair, swaying in the wind, dyed his vision beautifully.

As he engraved that radiant sight deep into his retinas, he once again recited the prayer he had repeated thousands upon thousands of times.

God,

If all of this is a dream… please, take this breath from me while I sleep, and never let me open my eyes again.

If only he could remain in a reality where she lived and breathed, he would not care even if he had to spend the rest of his life trapped inside the body of a powerless beast.

He prayed desperately for this strange dream to continue.

○○○

By sunset, drowsiness came over him again.

He tried somehow to endure it, but there was no way to stop his eyelids from slowly sinking shut. He stared persistently at her as she leaned against the headboard and read a book, until at some point he slipped into sleep as though fainting.

When he came to again, darkness had begun to settle thickly over everything.

With a clearer mind, he opened his eyes and immediately turned his gaze to her. Perhaps she had fallen asleep while reading, because she remained propped against the pillows, breathing softly and evenly.

He stared at her as though nailed in place, then used his short teeth to tug at the blanket, covering the leg that had been exposed beneath the hem of her skirt as it rode up.

Even such a small action was so difficult that his breathing grew rough.

After barely managing to pull the blanket up to her shoulders, he caught his breath for a moment, then hopped down from the bed and walked toward the fireplace.

Had the maids lit it before they fell asleep? Inside the screen, flames were burning.

He pushed one front paw through the gap to test it. Intense pain struck immediately.

He hurriedly pulled his paw back and examined the burning spot. The tender flesh of his pale paw pad, surrounded by gray fur, had turned red.

As though confirming the stinging pain, he rubbed the raw spot against the floor, then walked behind the screen set up on one side of the room.

When he approached the mirror standing at an angle, the reflection of a young beast covered in whitish-gray downy fur appeared.

He stood there motionless for a while, staring at that form. Then, at last, he calmly assessed the reality he had been placed in.

If all of this was neither delusion nor hallucination, then it meant he had flowed back into the past before her death—inside the body of the beast she had raised.

How is something like this possible?

As though seeking an answer, he glared at the wolf in the mirror.

Suddenly, he remembered the desperate look in the beast’s eyes just before his breath had stopped.

Could that wolf have sent him into the past in order to save her?

It was an absurd thought, but no other explanation came to mind.

To begin with, was this situation itself not already far beyond the realm of logic? It was meaningless to question by what principle such a thing had happened.

What mattered was what came next.

If the situation he had been placed in was not some delusion created by his mind after it had gone completely mad, then he had been given a miraculous chance to save her.

But what, exactly, was he supposed to do?

He slowly looked over himself with desolate eyes.

Compared to when he had first opened his eyes, his body had grown a little. Even so, the fact remained that he was nothing more than a powerless beast.